Every Maccas Burger Ranked By Eatability In The Car

April 2, 2020

in

On the road

by

Jack Delaney

From long-haul truckers to mums on school pick up duty, if you’re an Aussie driver the chances are that you’ve been guilty of chowing down on a McDonalds burger while behind the wheel. 

Except guilty isn’t quite the right word – unlike texting or drinking, in Australia there are no laws against eating while driving. As long as you don’t drive erratically or endanger others by causing an accident, you’re free to stuff your face with whatever food you want. Within reason of course (best to keep the steak and veggies for the dining table). 

To stay safe while gorging ourselves and manoeuvring our vehicles, there are a few rules to abide by. Avoid food that requires two hands, never eat anything that requires utensils and stay away from liquids. Cereal and noodles? No way. Burgers? Hell yes.  

Which brings us to McDonalds. Convenient, cheap and delicious, Maccas is the perfect place to grab a burger on the road. Just stay away from anything with more than two patties and be sure to not go crazy with your own DIY concoctions.

To help you out we’ve ranked every Maccas burger based on how easy they are to eat while driving. It was a very scientific and gruelling process. Check out the results in the list below: 

21. Grand Big Mac

Three buns, two giant beef patties, a small river of sauce and more cheese and pickles than my mum’s afternoon cheese platter. There’s a time and a place for this monster and while driving isn’t it. 

20. Double Quarter Pounder

Image of Double Quarter Pounder Burger

Eating this while driving would be a bad idea – not only does this bad boy clog up your arteries, there’s a big chance you’ll clog up traffic trying to eat it all too. 

19. Triple Cheeseburger

Three times the beef patty, three times the cheese and three times the chance of having a car crash if you try to eat this while driving. 

18. Big Mac Burger

Image of Big Mac Burger

I know it isn’t as big as the ads make it look (and my dad swears that it has shrunk), but there’s still too much going on to enjoy a Big Mac behind the wheel.  

17. Big Brekkie Burger

A burger with a hash brown on it is looking for trouble. As if that wasn’t enough you also have to deal with melting cheese, a cracked egg and a small pond of BBQ sauce. 

16.  Double Beef ‘n’ Bacon Burger

Two slabs of beef, bacon and a smothering of ketchup and mustard. If you try and eat this in the car you better head straight for a washing machine – your pants are going to be covered in sauce. 

15. Spicy Chicken Clubhouse

The most gluttonous of Maccas’ chicken offerings is packed with a chicken breast, bacon and caramelised onions, then smothered with Big Mac sauce and Sriracha. It’s the opposite of car friendly. 

14. BBQ Chicken

Image of BBQ Chicken Burger eaten in car

A burger with a breast that would make Pamela Anderson blush. It would be easier to solve a Rubik’s Cube while driving that trying to eat this mayo-filled poultry powerhouse. 

13. McFeast

It’s safe to say that anything with the word ‘feast’ in it isn’t safe for vehicular consumption. The McFeast, with a giant beef patty, the usual trimmings and three sauces, is no exception. 

12. Classic Angus

Classic Angus Burger eaten in car

The Classic Angus’s meat patty is so big that it overlaps the bun. After a few bites your palm would be coated in a thick layer of meat grease – not great for steering a car.

11. Chicken Deluxe

This deluxe offering requires two hands. Try it with one and watch as the tomato slips out the back of your bun and the creamy garlic aioli splashes all over your nice upholstery.

10. Jalapeno Chicken / Sriracha Chicken / Spicy Mayo Chicken

Three birds with one stone here as these burgers share the same fundamentals. All of them have a huge bit of chicken, all of them are spicy and all of them are dripping in sauce. 

9. Double Cheeseburger

Double Cheeseburger eaten in car

Two patties is usually a big no-no while driving, but the Double Cheeseburger is saved by its smaller bun. But be careful – the slightest interruption and it’ll fall apart easily. 

8. BBQ Bacon Angus

Grease, cheese and heaps of BBQ sauce are the enemy of anyone wanting to eat a burger on the road. This has all three, albeit in a relatively compact package. Handle with care!

7. Quarter Pounder

One juicy patty, a bunch of onion and pickles and plenty of tangy mustard. Just on the edge of being too big, the Quarter Pounder is a risky, but acceptable choice for a hungry driver.

6. McVeggie

Vegetarians rejoice! The new McVeggie is a beauty to eat while driving – the only downside is excess sauce getting on your fingers. Is that even a bad thing?

5. Filet-O-Fish

Tender fish, zesty tartar sauce and cheese packed in between a soft bun. My mum loves this and, while I question her tastebuds, I can’t deny its supreme eatability while driving.

4. McChicken

My personal favourite. From the McChicken sauce and tempura breading to the shredded lettuce and sesame seed bun. It’s a genuine classic – on and off the road. 

3. Chicken ‘n’ Cheese

Chicken n' Cheese Burger eaten in car

So simple and delicious. Crispy chicken, cheese and mayo lovingly placed in a fluffy bun. The best part is that they’re usually only a few bucks on the Loose Change menu – buy a few!

2. Cheeseburger 

A combo of beef, onions, pickle, tomato sauce, mustard and cheese on a soft bun, Maccas’ most legendary burger is also one of its easiest to eat. You can devour one in about three bites. Seriously. 

1. Hamburger

Hamburger eaten in car

I could juggle two of these little fellas in one hand while eating a third and doing 100 km/hr on the freeway. Easy to eat quickly, mess-free and ridiculously tasty, the Hamburger is the undoubtedly the best Maccas burger to eat while driving. 

Jack Delaney

Jack is a freelance writer for the Smith's Lawyers blig. He covers a range of topics from car technology and safety to current events.

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