So you know that your partner or family member is suffering from chronic pain, and all you think about is how you can make him her feel better. Fortunately, you don’t have to keep wondering, there’s a lot you can do to alleviate (some parts of) the constant pain and discomfort your loved one is in. This right here is a handy guide for you to work with.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Every person who dates with a chronic pain syndrome - we need to have a sort of "orientation" for any potential relationship partner</p>— Ariana Kateri (@arianakateri) <a href="https://twitter.com/arianakateri/status/894253838122844162?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 6, 2017</a></blockquote>
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But before going further, it’s super important for you to gain at least a cursory understanding of chronic pain- especially its causes and effects.
Chronic pain is any pain that lasts for more than 3-6 months, especially when that is longer than the usual time frame for healing from what caused it. Also, it’s more common than you may think. About 20 percent of adults in Australia suffer chronic pain, and women experience it more than men do. The most common cause is injury and it accounts for 38% of cases of chronic pain.
The injury could have been sustained in a car accident, a workplace incident or anywhere in fact. Other causes are arthritis, cancer-related pain and musculoskeletal issues.
On the mental end of things, there’s a lot of frustration, anxiety and depression your loved one may be going through. Roughly a third (31%) of Australian adults with severe or very severe pain experience high or very high levels of psychological distress. That’s a whopping six times the usual rate for those with no pain (5%). Further, a fifth (20%) of them also suffer from depression and/or other mood disorders, and this is more than double what the national the national average is (9%).
“Before, they would have been able to keep up with work, social life and hobbies. But with chronic pain, they may no longer be able to do things that used to give them joy and a sense of achievement. As a result, this can affect a person’s mood, and lead to symptoms of depression.” Clinical psychologist, Reuben Wurm explains.
These feelings moods also sometimes affect you and it’s not unlikely to observe that, among other things, you and your loved one may have shorter fuses than usual. However, a study shows that “the extent to which chronic pain negatively affected the chronic pain sufferer's respective partner and other family members was dependent to some extent on how effective the family was in coping with a relative with chronic pain.” What this means is that, to a large extent, it’s up to you to determine how this condition is going to affect your relationship with your partner/family member.
Having these 5 things at the back of your mind everyday will go a long way in making your loved one’s daily life (and yours too!) easier and more bearable.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Been stuck inside for weeks with chronic pain. Husband came hime with a projector today & surprised me with a bedroom cinema. 💗</p>— Sara Gibbs (@Sara_Rose_G) <a href="https://twitter.com/Sara_Rose_G/status/911306291091509248?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 22, 2017</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">You know you have found TRUE LOVE when you hit rock bottom in life & after all the dust settles your partner is still there loving you.</p>— Chris✞chronicpainDAD (@ChronicPainDad) <a href="https://twitter.com/ChronicPainDad/status/320661263430594562?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 6, 2013</a></blockquote>
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In all, understanding how your loved one’s pain works and continuing to educate yourself on it is the first and most important thing you could do for them. For yourself, recognising that this is a very tough job and cutting yourself some slack at times will be great for your health and well -being. Good luck!
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Chronic pain is one of the most underestimated health care problems in the world today. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/PainAwarenessMonth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#PainAwarenessMonth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/chronicpain?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#chronicpain</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/shareourpain?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#shareourpain</a> <a href="https://t.co/wvJoKJr54o">pic.twitter.com/wvJoKJr54o</a></p>— Princess, The Tower (@APainPrincess) <a href="https://twitter.com/APainPrincess/status/914586473717956608?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 1, 2017</a></blockquote>
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Reuben is an endorsed Clinical Psychologist registered with the Psychology Board of Australia. He completed his undergraduate degree in Psychology with Honours and a Master of Clinical Psychology Degree at the University of Queensland (UQ).He has worked in both a private practice setting and in the public health system for the Adult Community Mental Health Service, the Child and Youth Mental Health Service (CYMHS), the Royal Children’s Hospital and the Prince Charles Hospital in Brisbane. https://www.wurmpsychology.com